A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot.  One Summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.  She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them

Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs, and debated calling the Cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't, and said so.

Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach.  Then we can find out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.  The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.

"No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

"Well, what is it, then?  What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, "Her name is Sally, and she's a battery salesperson."

"Batteries?" cried the wife.

"Yes," he replied. 

"She sells "C" cells by the seashore."



Have you ever told a white lie?  You are going to love this, especially all of the ladies who bake for church events.
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute.  She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.
When Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. she said, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake."
This cake was important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the  house for something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom-a roll of Toilet paper.  She plunked it in and then covered it with icing.  Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.
Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom. Alice was horrified-she was beside herself.
Everyone would know!  What would they think?  She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed!  All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time.   Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose the fact Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa , but having already RSVP'd , she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay home.
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South and to Alice 's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake!  She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"
Alice still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you, I baked it myself."
Alice smiled and thought to herself,
"God is good."


A New Pun
King Ozymndias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus, the pawnbroker, to get a loan.
Crosus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the king protested.
"Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
Crosus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."


Scotch Tape Art

Little did Frosty the Snowman know that is first cup of hot chocolate would be his last.

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Douglas & Moore Real Estate, Inc.
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